One of the reasons that WWE endures is its ability to reinvent characters and create personas that click with the audience. Often I think the best ones tend to be an evolution of a character who grows into “themselves”, with depth created by various storylines or moments, rather than just a gimmick that sticks – think Randy Orton, Dean Ambrose, The Rock, or Triple H. But you have to start somewhere, so here are a few re-designs for characters who I think have potential.
Fandango
Fandango is a handsome and charismatic wrestler who I think is hampered by a ballroom dancing gimmick that means he can never be more than a sideshow. I reckon he doesn’t have the presence of Randy Orton or Kevin Owens at the moment but that’s just because of how he’s used. But he looks legit and could surely play at least an intercontinental role.
I think the way to transition him out of the ballroom dancing thing is to give him a broken-down, scruffy and angry version of himself. He’s already meant to be a heel I guess, so why not give him an edge? Perhaps after years just outside the limelight, an attention-hungry and ambitious guy like himself would get dispirited and turn to the bottle, losing a grip on his once-immaculate style and poise. Give him a bit of stubble and mess up his hair a bit, maybe an open shirt over a white vest and more of an attitude of someone with nothing to lose. (No-one seemed to like Batista when he came back but I liked the scruffy, hairy, angry version of him – it was much better than trying to make him the sculpted Hollywood superstar type, which no-one wold warm to.) Maybe he gets fired by WWE and just keeps turning up to fight anyway until they can’t ignore him any more. He could become a hard drinking, hard fighting, tough anti-hero, a rebel without a cause, a lone wolf betrayed by the world… like Dolph Ziggler crossed with Randy Orton. Stone Cold crossed with James Dean… a fighting casanova whose heart has been ripped out.
His real name is Curtis Jonathan Hussey. Assuming WWE has its fill of Curtises, how about he goes by John Hussey, which has all the right connotations for him. He don’t care bout no-one, y’hear? All I want to do is fight! A guy at rock bottom is hard to beat. Then give him a face turn when he teams up with a caring female manager and BAM, you got a world champion.
Damien Sandow
Damien Sandow almost did it himself. He went from pompous know-it-all (great gimmick anyway) to pretentious “divine right” champion-to-be (via the classic transition to black ring gear) before his brilliant but totally beneath-him stint with the Miz as stunt double.
Sandow’s next move should be angry evil genius. I like him as the leader of a stable, but something like the anti-DX, a group that wants to make WWE less populist and more legitimate. It could be a different take on the old Ted DiBase/Alberto Del Rio/JBL millionaire thing – somewhere between that and Right to Censor – where he can continue the elevated, “I>U” thing but in a less comedy and more Bond Villain kind of way.
He could build a team of henchmen around himself Authority-style, and become a challenge to the existing hierarchy through a combination of machinations, carefully planned plots and ambushes and nefarious business dealings. So you just have to dress him up a bit. You could keep the dressing gown schtick that I love and move it a bit more towards the TV soap opera evil boss thing (a bit like my man Chilly Gonzales), but now give him a cigar and a suit too. The more he becomes like Lex Luther, the better.
Footnote: I will not rest until this man becomes WWE champion.
Curtis Axel
What can be said about Curtis Axel? He seems pretty decent when he’s fighting and has certainly done a good job of getting beaten up in recent times. He just doesn’t seem to have any discernible character. “The less interesting one” in teams like Rybaxel and the Meta Powers is surely the worst possible place for him.
There was something unnatural about him as a plain old mean guy with Paul Heyman. I never found him totally convincing like that due to his funny grin and body language (he’s no Stone Cold) so I think it would need to be tempered by a stylistic uniqueness that could give him some character.
His reactions and his potential for comedy make me feel he’s being pulled in two directions. He could just go for laughs – perhaps he could become an all-out maniac like Perry Saturn. You could have him attacking the wrong people, making obvious mistakes, falling over in a pantomime way (as a kind of self-referential joke about the reality of wrestling, like Mizdow wrestling himself or Batista’s phantom-punch KO). You could give him a straight-man manager like William Regal and we could watch him screwing everything up Pinky and the Brain style.
Or maybe there’s something a bit more enduring for him that pays to his strengths. Where Bray Wyatt has gone for horror-movie Southern weirdness, I wonder whether Curtis could find the other side of that. A bar-brawling, slow-reading, check-shirted lumberjack type, a well-meaning but simple and rustic guy full of emotional reactions and crazy decisions. Cactus Jack’s cousin who didn’t get hit quite as hard on the head by the falling branch. Mr Imperfect. He knows he’s no star so he’s bought himself some land with plenty of trees to chop down and a great big smoke-pit barbeque to just enjoy the simple life. How about it?
John Cena
John Cena. Does he suck or is he awesome? There are a lot of haters out there and there are a couple of obvious reasons why. One – he got to a point of near invincibility (remember him beating my hero Damien Sandow with literally one arm?) Two – he’s too clean cut. Since his demolishment at the hands of Brock Lesnar and subsequent feuds where he’s looked much more human, a fading force even, it’s a great time to transition him to a veteran role. A kind of, “I’ve been there, done that” kind of guy with advice for the new wrestlers and a more battle-hardened style to match. He’s like the commander who’s been in the field for years, who’s scarred by what he’s seen, a guy who still wants to do good but finds it harder and harder as he gets disillusioned with the world. Lose the “Never give up” towel and the neon colours. Make his mantra something he clings to, not some slogan on a bit of merchandise. Make it something he demands of others. See the anger in his eyes at the injustices of the industry.
He brings out big move after big move in his matches and the haters just need to start seeing a different side to him. A bit darker – not a heel turn, just a different side to the predictable character.
HHH
Post-DX, Triple H was always one of my favourite guys. He was just cool and didn’t need some cheesy gimmick. He had swagger, but not in a showy way, he had presence, he was scary and angry and selfish. But he also looked vulnerable and human and knew how to sell better than anyone else. That made him seem like a gladiator, a moody, brooding survivor up against the world (even when he was up with the McMahons), fuelled by a desire to survive and put himself into the battle for glory or annihilation.
When in DX mode he had a firebrand anti-establishment identity. He just didn’t care what you thought and wanted to cause a ruckus. He seemed like the kind of guy who would fight fire with fire, a volcano ready to erupt at any moment.
Which is why his “Authority” identity fits so badly. As head of the Authority, trying to look like the boss his schtick is far too controlled and calm, so he just comes across smug and smarmy. He’s the guy you hate to hate. It’s the worst kind of irony when he talks about how he’s in charge and you can’t do anything about it.
What he needs is to bring some of that in-ring vulnerability to his COO persona. He needs to be threatened by something, to become a ruthless survivor at the top, not just the unshakeable symbol of general badness. He needs to have motivation, an enemy to make him come across as a cornered tiger. Where’s Shane O Mac these days? Or is it a feud with Steph? Either way, the whole concept of the Authority doesn’t make sense to me in this day and age: why do you need a set of enforcers when you own the place anyway?
So why not make HHH the under-fire executive, threatened by a hostile board of directors or investors, superstars who threaten to leave the brand, lawsuits and subordinate influences backstage. He could become a really nasty frustrated corporate boss, who takes things out on the employees, and rides the line between businessman and rebel. Sure, he wanted to be in charge, but it’s all too easy for someone who used to be a complex character. We need to see him being restrained by the real suits. Let the tiger out of the cage a bit.
Cesaro
Cesaro is well liked by the crowds and great in the ring. But that interview with Vince made it seem like he didn’t believe in Cesaro, and to be fair, the personal charm which probably worked independent-side doesn’t seem to have translated into something that make sense on the big stage. Another character held back by too much “fun” in his style? He’s almost too real, too human, and while crowds probably like him for that, you need to ramp it up a bit to make it work on TV.
His odd briefs and boots need to be changed. It’s hard to understand what he’s meant to be. Circus strongman? The larking about with Tyson is all well and good to get him back in the limelight, but it doesn’t really make sense.
I think he could do well as a European version of someone like Shawn Michaels crossed with Alberto Del Rio. Full of heart and spirit, and with a bit more flair. But you need to change his style for this. Make him a bit more flamboyant and a bit less athletic. Maybe a glamorous Geneva style would suit him, white trousers and jackets. Make him a bit more arrogant – someone who likes to embarrass his opponents with moves like the Swing and the flying uppercut. He’s got plenty of substance so give it a bit more style. I prefer his actual name Claudio Castagnoli, which has a bit more old-world glamour. And ultimately I think you need to let him cut loose on the promos and just act a bit more like Pitbull on a yacht with a bottle of Krug in one hand and a title belt in the other.
Pete Gomori 